They say you have a mental picture of how you look. This often differs from how you actually look. Often you are abruptly reminded. This happens when you suddenly catch sight of your reflection. Or, you are in a shop, you decide to try on those pants that look great on the hanger. You take said pants to the change rooms, and come away horrified, eyes downcast, no conversation with any salespeople please! and you hurriedly slink away. Sometimes things only look good on a clothes hanger.
This Saturday I have a formal party to go to. A friend is celebrating her thirtieth birthday. The invitation specified, formal attire in the colours of red, black, white or combination of. I got excited when receiving this invitation. You see, in 1998, my engagement dress was a gorgeous deep cherry red satin gown. I'm always looking for excuses to wear it. This would have been its fifth outing. A small voice told me that I should try on my red dress and not wait until the day of the party. This is when you should have left half an hour ago, and you're swinging clothes across the room because they just look positively disgusting on you all of a sudden. For once I obeyed the small voice and tried on my glamorous gown. As I stood in front of my mirror (full length!) the small voice in my head became a wail of anguish. You see, for about a year now, I have had a very different mental picture of myself. One that is two sizes smaller. I didn't even try the zip. :(
So, Saturday night, I will adorn myself in my habitual black - because it's allowed - and hope it covers all the multitude of sins I seem to have somehow gained. On the bright side I did begin intermediate swimming lessons last night.